Imitating Nature

There are certain questions that are universal to the human mind or at least that's the way it seems when I talk to people outside of the world of medicine about my being in medicine. It's actually kind of funny how everyone asks me the same 10-15 questions, I really should start making notecards or a pamphlet to hand out to answer these questions. My favorite question, though, is, "Is it like House [or some other TV show]?" The simple answer is no, but where is the fun in that. As the ancient dictum goes, art imitates nature, so lets take a look at how well these arts truly imitate what they represent.

Dr. Gregory House
As the caption of the photo reads: Seriously, how does this guy keep his license? I mean, he breaks into people's homes, he nearly kills people with unnecessary treatments, he performs procedures without indication or proper consent and the guy is total a-hole. Yeah, everyone lies and we deal with it but we don't turn it into The Spanish Inquisition or A Few Good Men. Given that bedside manner is a more important determinant in a physician getting sued for malpractice than actually being a good doctor, House would have been sued 8 ways to Sunday. By this point, House's malpractice premiums would be through the roof and he would be unemployable. Then there is the issue of his team. House, head of diagnostic medicine (WTF is that?), has working under him a neurologist, an immunologist, a surgeon, a plastic surgeon, Kumar, and a variety of other doctors. This is utter nonsense. What House does have going for it is the way they portray the brainstorming sessions: we do do that.

Grey's Anatomy
Using a play on the name of the landmark textbook that no one actually uses anymore, Gray's Anatomy, Grey's Anatomy is a show that I've seen, maybe, about 5 minutes of. From what I can surmise, the apple fell off the tree, grew legs and ran into an orange grove. Call rooms are used for sleeping. Only sleeping. Maybe some work before or after sleeping. And people don't survive Stage IV melanoma, especially with metastasis to the brain and liver. NEXT!

Scrubs
I know what you're thinking, "there is NO way that Scrubs is anything like real life!" Well, minus the jumping into your pals arms and screaming "EAGLE!" while he lifts you into the air (at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it), and the funny business in the call rooms it is pretty true to life. Dr. Cox, the jaded mentor, who, beyond the callous exterior cares for his patients and proteges. Dr. Kelso is part the old guard who gets sick pleasure out of belittling those beneath him. The Todd is a surgeon. Elliot is that super idealistic girl who somehow keeps her idealism through it all. We go on rounds and get pimped. We deal with diseases and persons. We have lives outside of medicine and sometimes the two meet. And the janitor has it out for us all.

So there you have it. Now you have a better idea of what my career is like. Except it is not as interesting...